Becoming Friends with My Own Emotions – How Emotion-Focused Therapy Can Help

Understanding and managing our emotions can be complex and intimidating—it’s certainly been a journey for me. It’s not something we usually learn in school or at home, and yet, emotions are at the heart of our survival, motivation, and overall well-being.

As a therapist, I’ve come to realize that working with emotions isn’t just something I guide my clients through; it’s also a process I engage in myself. In my daily practice, I rely on the principles of Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), developed by Leslie Greenberg, to help clients understand and embrace their emotions. And I’ve found EFT to be just as essential in deepening my understanding of my own emotional landscape. In this article, I want to share an overview of EFT and how I weave it into both my work with clients and my personal growth.

EFT is a humanistic approach that values authenticity, growth, self-determination, creativity, equality, and pluralism. These values resonate deeply with me, and they guide the way I work with clients. The goal of humanistic therapists is to help people live fuller, more meaningful lives in healthy relationships with others. EFT does this by combining elements from various therapeutic approaches, each bringing something unique to the table.

For example, EFT incorporates:

• Person-Centered Therapy: Developed by Carl Rogers, this approach emphasizes creating a supportive environment where clients feel accepted and understood.

• Psychodrama: Created by Moreno & Moreno, this method uses role-playing to help clients explore their emotions and experiences.

• Gestalt Therapy: Founded by Perls, Hefferline & Goodman, this therapy focuses on the present moment and encourages clients to become aware of their thoughts, feelings, and actions.

But EFT doesn’t stop there. It also draws from:

• Existential Psychotherapy: Highlighted by Schneider & Krug, this approach helps clients find meaning in their experiences.

• Narrative Therapy: Developed by Angus & Greenberg, this therapy encourages clients to rewrite their personal stories in a more empowering way.

EFT is supported by a growing body of research showing its effectiveness in helping clients with depression, anxiety, trauma, relationship issues, and anger management. I’ve witnessed firsthand how powerful EFT can be in addressing these challenges.

One of the most important aspects of EFT is the emphasis on trust. The first step in therapy is to establish a secure, trusting relationship between the client and therapist. This trust creates a safe space where clients can explore and express their emotions without fear or shame. As we peel back the layers of these emotions, we often uncover deeper meanings or unmet needs that have been hiding beneath the surface. Collaboration is also key in EFT—therapy is a partnership, where mutual respect and autonomy are central.

I find that techniques like chair work, guided imagery, and focusing on bodily sensations can really help clients connect with their emotions. Through these methods, clients often start to rebuild trust and acceptance within themselves, which is such a transformative experience.

Over the years, I’ve seen how using EFT with my clients has led them to discover more about themselves, develop compassion, and gain confidence. Many describe their therapeutic journey as eye-opening, and they often mention how the sense of safety in our sessions gives them the courage to be vulnerable with their emotions.

EFT is gaining popularity because it uniquely blends different approaches to help clients welcome and understand their emotions. In my experience, this therapy emphasizes building secure attachments in every session, creating a safe space for clients to explore their concerns and curiosities, and ultimately helping them create new meaning in their lives.

Written by Syawal Hussain

Syawal is a highly trained EFT practitioner at Inside Out Counselling and Wellness Practice, dedicated to helping clients cultivate greater self-trust and self-love by harnessing the transformative power of compassion.

References

Elliott, R., & Greenberg, L. S. (2020). Emotion-focused counselling in action (5th ed.). SAGE Publications.